From now on, I, skb1976, pledge to ALWAYS wear gloves when chopping jalepenos. If I do not wear gloves, I will be forced to relive the pain of capsacin oil in the eyes and under my fingernails and a TERRIBLE BURNING SENSATION the following day.

I'll be over in the corner now. If you hear whimpers of pain, that's me.

Tags: health, injury, memories, sad

Please note the ever present sarcasm dripping...nay, waterfalling!...from the subject of this post.

I got an e-mail yesterday from our puppy playmate's owner. Her mother passed away at 5:18 AM on Mother's Day. How crappy is that? I'd met her...she was a fun woman. Very witty, but our friend said the tumors in her brain changed her a lot toward the end. It's a very sad thing.

And...my grandmother isn't doing well. I love my Grandma. She's a rootin' tootin' lady, but she passed out at home and had to be hospitalized. Pneumonia. :( Sadness...and worry. She's been hospitalized before, she survived colon cancer, but...I think this is the beginning of a downward spiral.

(I'm leaving out a whole bunch of family suckage surrounding this cuz, well, it still pisses me off.)

But yeah...I spent some time talking with my mom on Saturday morning about this. She sounded exhausted. I'm concerned that she's not getting the rest she needs to take care of herself. Of the 4 kids my Grandmother had, 2 of them live out of state and the 4th is an utterly worthless, alcoholic, egocentric, mentally abusive piece of shit. My mom is Grandma's health proxy, and she is considering having grandma put into assisted living. I think if this were to happen, this would be the end of grandma...she's always been very independent, but she's at the point where she can't walk to the refrigerator to get food and she doesn't drink nearly enough water (she's on IV's because she was also so very much dehydrated).

If I can swing it, I want to travel homeward next weekend to visit with her. But...seeing her ever since she was hospitalized for the cancer just scares me for some reason. It's almost as if she hears what you're saying, but can't make sense of it, so she just nods and stares. Spooky.

I dunno... 2008 sucks.

Tags: family, sad

Thank you to everyone who has had very kind and supporting words regarding the loss of our dear cat. It means so very much...

When we had him put down, the vet asked us what we wanted to do with his remains. Well, we thought we'd have more time to think about this and discuss because we weren't expecting him to pass so suddenly. Our options ranged from private burial in a pet cemetery (so Stephen King...) to solo cremation with his ashes to group cremation with no ashes.

We've decided on the group cremation. Number of reasons here, but we think it's best for us to remember him as fur and purr.

We're also planning to memorialize him somehow. No decisions have been made, but Shadow loved birds. Watching them and chattering at them. My idea is to have a birdbath in the yard, and put a memorial stone in it or near it with an inscription. I'm leaning toward "Shadow - A good cat (sometimes)" Simple, and the "sometimes" part makes me smile and remember happy memories surrounding that joke.

Isn't that what memorials are for? Recalling happy memories?

But yes...I get to call the emergency hospital today and let them know of our decision. I'm not looking forward to making the call, as I still get choked up and weepy over the idea.

Like now.

Dammit.

Tags: cat, critters, family, sad
Current Mood: sad

I'm sorry for not being able to contact everyone directly to give them this news.

Late Saturday night, Shadow was in extreme distress. He was yowling, panting, unable to stand or walk, and lost control of his bowels. We called the emergency animal hospital and brought him in. After an initial exam by the vet, we were told his prognosis wasn't positive, and we made the very difficult decision to put him down.

I will miss him.

Tags: cat, critters, family, sad
Current Mood: sad

For the past 9 years, we've had a feline fuzzball by the name of Shadow with us. Any of you who read Olivia's blog as well as mine may have seen the note she wrote last night.

Our cat is not doing well.

We discovered a mass on his pelvis and had it biopsied on Tuesday, along with some chest x-rays. The vet called last night and let us know that he has some nodules in his chest that are the cause behind his occasional heavy breathing. Chances are very likely the mass on his rump is related to these, which would mean that yes, he does have cancer and yes, it has spread and no, it is not operable.

We've given him what we hope to be a full and a happy life. We don't know how much time we have left with him...it could be weeks or months...but we plan to make his time as comfortable and happy and easy for him as possible. He will let us know when he's ready for the next step.

It's both a sad and difficult time for us right now. Please understand if we don't seem our normal selves.

Tags: cat, critters, family, sad
Current Mood: crappy

Justice is served. Former Atlanta Falcons star QB Michael Vick is sentenced to 23 months in prison for bankrolling a dogfighting operation and killing 8 dogs that performed "poorly."

And still, people defend this piece of shit thug. Check the comments on that page.

This is not a race issue. This "man" willingly and knowingly broke the law. Is he black? Yes. Of course he is. But he also committed a felony and deserves to do the time. Hell...he could have been sentenced to 5 years instead of 2. If you ask me, he got off lucky.

And no, pit bulls, more correctly known as American Staffordshir Terriers, are not mean, vicious dogs by nature who should all be put to sleep. Any dog, even one as small as a chihuahua can seriously injure a human if they are not socialized from a young age. These dogs Vick was responsible for were not taken to obedience classes or the dog park. They were not petted and loved and fed and played with. These dogs were abused and starved and forced to fight from the moment they were born.

To those who said "Dogfighting is not a part of southern culture" um... according to these felons (Vick and all his cronies), they think it is. They have said they grew up going to dog fights and hearing about dog fights and participating in dog fights and betting on dog fights and... Maybe it's not a part of the WIDER southern culture, but it's there. Yet one more ugly stain on the southern states' souls.

And knowing that people think he was given a hard sentence and make light of the fact that those dogs weren't just killed...they were tortured to death...make my stomach turn. Electrocution, drowning, suffocation, and whatever other methods he used to kill those animals aren't "euthanasia." Those dogs were murdered by a cold-hearted killer.

I think he got what he deserved. Do I wish his sentence was harsher? I don't know. That's not for me to say. But these people who are screaming "Racism!" or saying "They were only dogs." are dead wrong. He committed multiple felonies. He was handed a judicial punishment befitting the crimes. There is no mention of appealing the conviction. Obviously he agrees with the sentence and is willing to do his time.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Tags: bwah?, puppy, rant, sad, sports
Current Mood: aggravated

It's good to be back home. We left for York, Maine on Saturday to attend the funeral services for Olivia's 96-year-old cousin. Yes, you read that right. 3rd cousin or somesuch. We met O's parents and her sister in the parking lot for Stonewall Kitchens (the people that make dressings and jams and other sundry foodie items) and they led us to her brother's vacation home in York, which is where we stayed.

Very nice home. On the ocean shore...literally. But very big. Too big for my taste. But anyway... We stayed up far too late watching the Red Sox beat LA in game 2. Nice job there.

The next day, we woke late and had a leisurely breakfast. It was chilly, and we were expected in Portland by 3. We wanted to go to Freeport, which is beyond Portland and more than an hour away, so we drove US 1 through Ogunquit and stopped at the Lighthouse Depot in Wells where I bought some x-mas and birthday gifts for my mom. We continued the scenic drive up US 1 to Portland, and then hopped on the highway. 30 minutes later, we were parked in the LL Bean factory outlet parking lot. We did some shopping in LL Bean and got some much needed fall work clothes. (I love my flannel lined khakis and corduroys. I haven't had cords since elementary school...) We stopped at the British Import store to look for a specific candy bar, but they didn't have any in stock. I found a nice dark green lamb's wool sweater made in Ireland. Very warm and cozy, and since I'd been looking for another wool sweater, I bought it.

My clothing budget for the year is now overdrawn. :) But it was well worth it.

We drove to O's parent's condo in Portland, and watched the first few innings of the Sox game 3 vs LA. By the time we left to meet O's brother for dinner, they were up 2-0. All the way there on the Maine Turnpike, we had to keep switching AM stations just to get a fuzzy feed. I love New England and Maine, but geez...we couldn't keep a signal for more than 10 minutes, and it was NEVER clear. But, we got to the restaurant and sat in the lounge while waiting for our table. The Sox were winning 9-0 by this point, so we were happy to be watching it with a room full of other Sox fans...or so we thought. When the final out was made, no more than 5 in the place applauded. The hell...?!? I thought Maine was part of New England??

After dinner, O, O's brother and I went back to his vacation house and watched the Spankee game. They won. blah.

Monday were Marie's services in Sanford. We got to the church early and I met O's extended family for the first time. O's father shocked both of us by introducing me as O's partner. He'd never done that before, and it meant a lot to both of us. The service itself was...very Catholic. I'm not Catholic. But, the service was very full of churchy ritual. Lemme tell ya...it's something else to be the only person in the church who doesn't take communion. Oh yes. Very something else. After the services, we went to the cemetery where Marie's urn was to be buried. I got to see where O's father grew up, and he pointed out the stones of many family members. All in all, it was a very nice service. Very fitting of the person Marie was...or, at least, the Marie I met and remember.

The entire family went to Applebee's for lunch/dinner afterward. O's brother had to fly out early, so Uncle John replaced him. What a hoot! I hadn't seen him since O's brother's wedding, so it had been a while. After we ate, we drove back to the York house one last time, packed our belongings, and drove the couple of blocks to downtown York. We stopped in a couple of the touristy shops (we had been hoping to visit The Goldenrod and get some taffy, but they were closed. We picked up a few items, got some warm drinks, and left Maine for Albany, where our friends Kate and Valorie had offered us a place to rest for the night.

When we got to Albany, the Yankee's game 4 against Cleveland had just started, so after meeting Joe, the all-black foster kitten, we settled in to watch the Spankees go down in flames. :) Great fun, that! We left late in the morning and drove home to Rochester.

A very long trip under sad circumstances, but punctuated by various highlights.

Tags: family, memories, red sox, sad, sports, vacation
Current Mood: listless

Yay for the South Carolina education system!

My head hurts now.

Tags: bwah?, funny, sad
Current Mood: shocked

Well...some of you who read this have already heard the news, but I have a pretty nasty concussion.

Wednesday eve, I bent over to put Sophie's leash on her.  She jumped up toward me, and I jumped back, knocking the side of my head square with the doorknob of the basement door.  Much profanity ensued, followed by an evening laying down.

Thursday, I went to work, but enough coworkers expressed concern, and I felt bad enough, that I went to my doctor's.  He sent me to the ER.  I don't remember much more of Thursday, except a mean nurse who yelled at me and made me cry.  Friday?  Was there a Friday?  I heard we had a storm, but I remember nothing of it.  I saw stuff on the news the next day.

The weekend is mostly a washout, too.  I don't remember much...just snippets here and there.  For example, I remember Julia and Matt stopping by, and I know they brought one of their pups with them, but I couldn't recall which one.  (Julia told me it was Buddy this morning via IM.)  I don't remember anything we talked about.

I'm working from home today, as I don't feel safe driving.  I still have dizzy spells, and it's difficult for me to keep my balance while walking.  The security guard at the front desk this morning told me I couldn't be in the building today, to illustrate how unsteady I am.

I just kinda want my life back.  Now, please.

Tags: injury, puppy, sad, work

Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?

-- Green Day

In short, this week started as nothing short of craptastic and has gotten progressively worse to the point where I decided to send an e-mail to HR and told them (in so many words) that I do not want this job and want to be transferred to a place where I will use my mad programming skillz and not waste away running reports like some low-level clerk.

But I was nicely phrased in my actual letter.

In short, this transfer to the QA group has set my career on a backward path. See...when college grads get into the working world, they will more than not find themselves in a position that involves QA or Help Desk. This allows them to learn the systems they will eventually be hired for to program.

I programmed for 10 years. I am now doing QA. Pray tell...what is wrong with this picture?

7 months, I've been wasting away. Oh...and the application they sent me to training for? Incompatible with what they want me to test. AND the application they TOLD me I'd be testing when I was transferred against my will 7 months ago? Still haven't had any involvement whatsoever. And when I mentioned this at our staff meeting today, eyebrows all around the table were raised because there is a lack of help in the testing effort.

It has become quite obvious nobody knows what to do with me here, and after our staff meeting, I sent an e-mail to our new team lead asking her if she would spare 15 minutes so that I could voice some concerns I have over my position on the team.

God, I hate this fucking job. I want to cry.

Tags: rant, sad, work
Current Mood: depressed